4 more to go people!!!

Perspective. Mine has been in constant growth. I have gained so much perspective on my life and I have been able to apply it to both the past and present.

When I started Chemo in January my first round consisted of 4 sessions. The whole time I was counting them down, and fighting the get through them. Those 4 sessions were a mountain to me.

Right now I have 4 sessions left. I am so excited that I ONLY have 4 left.
Five months ago 4 sessions was a huge task I had to complete, now 4 sessions are a relief and I see them as a small bump in the road.

Perspective, gotta love it.

-R

Comments

Normal

I am feeling more normal these days. I am able to drive most days and spend some time with my friends. I almost have a normal schedule ( yay ). I have also been lucky that I have not gotten sick sick (definition: sick sick - sickness that is not chemo induced) in a long time. For the past two years I have gotten sick on average every 5 weeks, so this has been my longest stretch without a cold, strep, bronchitis, or the flu. I think it may help that I don't go where lots of people are often. Plus I have become and obsessive hand washer, I carry like 3 types of lotion because my hands are so dry from the soap! I went out with friends last Saturday - it was the first time I have hung out with more than 8-10 people in many many months. I found myself with a bit of social anxiety. This is a new experience for me. I imagine this is caused by the massive amount of alone time I have had the past few months and my insecurity about being a bald cancer patient. I know this too is t...

I made a choice.

So I have spent the past few weeks thinking. Trying to nail down what is most important. Trying to give myself some perspective. So I have outlined my worst case scenarios. Worst case scenario #1: I don't have the surgery now and end up with cancer in the next few years. Worst case scenario #2: I have the surgery now and a few years from now I am unhappy and upset that I never had my own biological children. Worst case scenario #3: I have horrible menopausal symptoms for the next few years. So. When I write them out. I see something pretty clear. #2 and #3 are temporary and there are options for me to work through. #1 could equal death. Which is pretty permanent. So. I'm gonna do it. That's how I feel right now. I'm going to chose short term suffering to have a better long term life. I am trying to read up on things I can do to mitigate menopause that ...

So I might be a little lazy...

I just took a gander at my blog and realized I have not written here in 5 months. Yikes! The good news is that lots of fun and happiness has gone on in those 5 months. First off - I actually bought and mailed Christmas presents to my family BEFORE Christmas. AND they liked the gifts. Might not sound like a feat to most, but the past two Christmases did not really exist in my mind. I totally ignored them. Being that I was diagnosed 6 days before Christmas that makes sense. SOOO I am very happy to be back in the holiday game. Second - I turned 30 on Jan 1st. I had the most fabulous birthday week. Yes, I gave myself an entire birthday week. I had some of my most very favorite people come into town. This was by far my favorite birthday EVER. I felt so loved and special and so excited to be out of my twenties! I am so ready for 2010 and what the future brings. So Yay! Third - I did a Breast Cancer Walk back in October. It was by far one of the most healing things I have done ...

Row-C

Search This Blog