4 more to go people!!!

Perspective. Mine has been in constant growth. I have gained so much perspective on my life and I have been able to apply it to both the past and present.

When I started Chemo in January my first round consisted of 4 sessions. The whole time I was counting them down, and fighting the get through them. Those 4 sessions were a mountain to me.

Right now I have 4 sessions left. I am so excited that I ONLY have 4 left.
Five months ago 4 sessions was a huge task I had to complete, now 4 sessions are a relief and I see them as a small bump in the road.

Perspective, gotta love it.

-R

Comments

Chemo #3

I had my third chemo session today. My friend Claire went with me. It's nice to have someone there; I dare say a partner in crime. Plus, since I am hooked to a machine, I get to boss around my guest to get me coffee, snacks etc. Pretty sweet, I mean they have to get stuff for me. :) I feel better this week than last week. Every time I cross a new bridge with this deal (newest bridge = hair loss) I am forced onto the roller coaster again. I have a hard time when I am sad or upset. It is really frustrating, when I feel sad I think back to the week before when I felt good, when I was happy. I sit there and try to figure out how to get back to feeling good. The answer so far has been simple, time. Time to process what is going on. Time to process how I feel and time to figure out what I can do to make it better. Sometimes there is nothing I can do and somehow in those moments one of my friends sends a text, a card, a package or email to let me know they care. It really ma...

Shaved

I went ahead and shaved my head today. It has been falling out non-stop since Thursday. I traveled to Stafford today to pick up my wigs so I had Hazel go ahead and buzz cut my hair. She did leave enough at the top for a killer mohawk this weekend. I must say I was more upset this morning constantly throwing away chunks of hair than I am right now, rubbing my softly shaven head. Two new observations: 1. Everything is much colder 2. My head is much lighter

I made a choice.

So I have spent the past few weeks thinking. Trying to nail down what is most important. Trying to give myself some perspective. So I have outlined my worst case scenarios. Worst case scenario #1: I don't have the surgery now and end up with cancer in the next few years. Worst case scenario #2: I have the surgery now and a few years from now I am unhappy and upset that I never had my own biological children. Worst case scenario #3: I have horrible menopausal symptoms for the next few years. So. When I write them out. I see something pretty clear. #2 and #3 are temporary and there are options for me to work through. #1 could equal death. Which is pretty permanent. So. I'm gonna do it. That's how I feel right now. I'm going to chose short term suffering to have a better long term life. I am trying to read up on things I can do to mitigate menopause that ...

Row-C

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