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This week I met with my General Surgeon and had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. I have had increasing stress and anxiety regarding "July". The good news is that this week I am more informed about my options for reconstruction. I think I have decided on the procedure I want and now I need to set up appointments at Georgetown Hospital to talk to the doctors that do the Diep Flap procedure. There are still some factors up in the air that I have to know before I can have a surgery date set. One is whether I have to get radiation after I finish chemo and the other is what doctor and what facility I am going to for surgery. After going to see some doctors this week I have a little less anxiety, as with every new decision I go through waves of feeling overwhelmed and waves of calm and peace. This is just a roller coaster type year for me. After I meet with the Georgetown doctors I will post a blog with more details regarding the choices I am making and why. I am a littl

What I learned this week... Being sick sick (non-chemo induced sickness) is a pretty miserable experience. I have by far been my whiniest this week, just ask Erin. I think I have gone through 3 boxes of tissues in two days. I guess it is easy for me to forget that I actually have cancer and have been doing chemo for 5 months and I can't carry on like a normal immunity person. I have to be careful how many people I am around or I get real real sick. I did finally call my doctor yesterday after I realized I was not magically going to get better. They called in some anti-biotics AND cancelled my chemo. Let's just say me not so happy. I am bummed that I am a week behind schedule, but alas they say everything happens for a reason, so I guess my body needed a break. I do however have good news....I found Teriyaki Chicken Ramen Noodles for sale online. Yes the delicious Ramen that filled the store shelves about 5 years ago, and have since been MIA. It is crazy what you find on

I had a fantastic time on Saturday night. I was surrounded by wonderful people and fabulous music. I think the vibe was contagious and fun was had by all. I am so incredibly thankful to everyone who was part of making this happen, McLaws Drive, Transmitters and Low Boys - you rock my world. I have spent the last few years enjoying your music and getting to know you all. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am that you donated your tunes and time to help me. I was so overwhelmed by the number of people who came out. It was amazing, I felt so special, there were so many hugs and much love all around. It is hard for me to find the right words...yes I am speechless people. So many of you donated over and above and I really appreciate it. Please know how thankful I am and that last night made me so happy. I have spend a lot of time alone knowing that people out there cared about me. I spent last night surrounded by people who care about me. I have never felt so loved in my

Perspective. Mine has been in constant growth. I have gained so much perspective on my life and I have been able to apply it to both the past and present. When I started Chemo in January my first round consisted of 4 sessions. The whole time I was counting them down, and fighting the get through them. Those 4 sessions were a mountain to me. Right now I have 4 sessions left. I am so excited that I ONLY have 4 left. Five months ago 4 sessions was a huge task I had to complete, now 4 sessions are a relief and I see them as a small bump in the road. Perspective, gotta love it. -R

I was just flipping through my calendar looking at what I have coming up the next few weeks. I flipped to July and closed it. Quickly. I guess I am more worried about July than I thought. I can't even look at the month. I don't know my surgery date for sure yet, but I know it falls in July. My treatment order has been the reverse of what the majority experiences. I had chemo first and surgery after. Most have the surgery first, followed by chemo. Part of coping with all of this has been separating everything into smaller pieces. Chemo 1 was 4 treatments - done. Chemo 2 is 12 treatments - almost done. Surgery 1 will be in July and I am not sure about the Surgery 2 time frame. Now that I have 5 chemo treatments left, my mind is wandering towards the future. This whole time I have been trying to embrace the next step a little early in an attempt to prepare myself for it. The whole chemo process is very body draining. It has at times been emotionally draining but I thi

As I sit here in my post chemo haze I decided to write to you all and let you know what it is all about. I normally go into the doctors between 9 and 10. Upon arrival they take my weight and then I go to one of the chemo chairs. My office is smaller so there are about 15 or so lazy boy type chairs lined up in the back of the office. Each chair has a side table attached to the chair on both sides. They first access my port, which involves them using a long hooked needle (kind of like a paperclip) with a long tube on it; they insert the needle into my port and flush it with saline. (For those of you who don’t know what my "port" is...Back in Jan they surgically inserted a soft gel like piece of plastic on the left side of my body near my collarbone, it is connected to a main artery. It allows easy access to administer the chemotherapy.) They then take some blood through the same port and check my blood work. They have to make sure my blood counts are good enough for me to

What an interesting day... This morning I saw a guy walk thru my backyard. That was followed immediately by a loud sound, I later identified as my cooler being opened and closed. Turns out my "neighbor" has been stealing lukewarm beers out of the cooler on my back porch. I went outside, saw that the cooler that previously held 20-30 beers was left with 2 beers. I went to the edge of my backyard and saw him going into his fenced in backyard. I stood there for a minute in disbelief, to which he walked back out of his yard. I immediately went back into my house and locked the door. (After moving the cooler closer to my house thus making it less accessible). I made a few phone calls to people telling them about the event - laughing at how insane it is that my neighbor is stealing beers off my porch. I imagined him thinking wow I am thirsty, why don’t I walk 5 houses down and grab a beer. Then repeating this process about 30 times. I also pictured him hanging out on my ba

This past week has been strange. I went to my 6 th Taxol Chemo appt - so the good news is I am half-way done with my second round of Chemo. ( yay ) However, I think my body is starting to get maxed out. I do not have the severity of side affects that I did with the first type of chemo; but I think all the chemo is starting to take a toll. So I struggled a little this week. Not to bad but just my mind and body are a little weaker than normal. This week I saw a young guy in chemo - first time I have seen anyone close to my age. Turns out he is younger than me and I think he has to go more than once a week. I think they are giving him much stronger drugs than I get and more often. It made me realize that the actual chemo I am getting right now is not so bad - I just have to pay attention to my body and mind and make sure to rest. I think laughter is underated as a medicine . I can tell you laughter and faith are what keep me going, what help me to stay positive . Please no