Row-C

I spent some time today reading emails. I put a bunch of emails that I was sent back during the whole "cancer thing" into a folder. Today was the first day I went back to them. I felt so blessed as I read them. I am really forgetful these days and reading the words of love and encouragement from the past was really beautiful. One of my greatest struggles over the past year has been allowing myself to feel emotions. I did not even realize that I had emotionally shut myself off. As I was physically healing from the chemo and surgeries I started to become overwhelmed with emotions. I was nearing the time to go back to work, and I started to freak out. I knew that if I did not start to process everything that happened I would completely lose it. The thought of that terrified me. So I started seeing a therapist to try to learn how to process and cope with it all. I had to go back through the past year, and as I did, I realized that I had shut down my ability to feel emoti