Skip to main content

Here we go...

It is Wed, which means Chemo is tomorrow. Wed seems to be my "thinking day", the day with the most racing thoughts and I still get nervous about Chemo.

I think I only write around 5% of what I think. My brain is always ticking away, thinking about all kinds of stuff. Still trying to figure out what life is about, where I am going, and what I want to do - well that kind of stuff plus the whole cancer situation.

In a weird way Cancer has brought people from my past back into my life. That is nice. I get nervous before I see someone I have not seen in years. Mostly because I look like a cancer patient. I keep waiting for me to see someone and have them cry upon the sight of me. I really really hope that does not happen - can we say AWKWARD! Hee - that word looks funny in all caps.

Anywho - I am doing well - still trucking along. I get sad, I get mad, I have fun, I get tired, sometimes I fall into a void of nothing in front of the TV. You know there are a lot of emotions to sort through. Time both creeps by and flys - depending on the hour.

I have saved all the cards I have received because I intend on writing everyone back - I just have not found the words yet. Plus, I need to buy a ton of stamps ;) If you sent me something thank you and I really do plan to write you back!

My friends that organized Team Rosie for the Avon Walk are still about $3,000 away from the goal. If you can please donate to the cause. The money that is collected helps fund Breast Cancer treatments for cancer patients without insurance. Each member of the team has to raise $1800 so please donate to the girls that have not met thier goal yet.

http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk2008/WashingtonDC?pg=team&fr_id=1430&team_id=46063

Check y'all later!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Grace

I surprised myself recently. I thought for sure that the days after my last Chemo would be great. I mean, I completed six months of chemo, which is something to celebrate. However, I found myself doing quite the opposite. The past few days have been some of the toughest in a while. I thought about this in my car today. I realized that I can only handle so much of all this at a given time. I think finishing chemo actually turned out to be a breaking point for me. I have found myself teary eyed and easily irritated for days. I haven't liked talking on the phone, even with some of my favorite people. Lots of little things have been getting to me. These are all signs that I am mentally going downhill. I have found, in the past that I can go on this trail for quite a while before I realize it is happening. I am glad that I figured this out after 4 days. I guess I am just a little fed up with the whole thing. I am tired of dealing with Cancer. I am tired of looking differen...
1 comment
Read more

I made a choice.

So I have spent the past few weeks thinking.   Trying to nail down what is most important.  Trying to give myself some perspective.   So I have outlined my worst case scenarios.  Worst case scenario #1:  I don't have the surgery now and end up with cancer in the next few years.   Worst case scenario #2: I have the surgery now and a few years from now I am unhappy and upset that I never had my own biological children.   Worst case scenario #3: I have horrible menopausal symptoms for the next few years.   So. When I write them out.  I see something pretty clear.  #2 and #3 are temporary and there are options for me to work through.   #1 could equal death.  Which is pretty permanent.   So. I'm gonna do it.  That's how I feel right now.  I'm going to chose short term suffering to have a better long term life.   I am trying to read up on things I can do to mitigate menopause that ...
2 comments
Read more

So I might be a little lazy...

I just took a gander at my blog and realized I have not written here in 5 months. Yikes! The good news is that lots of fun and happiness has gone on in those 5 months. First off - I actually bought and mailed Christmas presents to my family BEFORE Christmas. AND they liked the gifts. Might not sound like a feat to most, but the past two Christmases did not really exist in my mind. I totally ignored them. Being that I was diagnosed 6 days before Christmas that makes sense. SOOO I am very happy to be back in the holiday game. Second - I turned 30 on Jan 1st. I had the most fabulous birthday week. Yes, I gave myself an entire birthday week. I had some of my most very favorite people come into town. This was by far my favorite birthday EVER. I felt so loved and special and so excited to be out of my twenties! I am so ready for 2010 and what the future brings. So Yay! Third - I did a Breast Cancer Walk back in October. It was by far one of the most healing things I have done ...
Post a Comment
Read more