Skip to main content

Intro to the Big C

Dec 21 2007

For those of you who don't know, I found out recently that I have Breast Cancer. This is a shock to me and everyone around me. I am right now working on the acceptance of this and I am taking baby steps. Fortunately I have amazing people in my life and I have had the past 10 years to really get to know myself. I know what I can and can't do and I have been prepared by God for this experience. With that said, I have started writing again (kind of).

I am standing before a mountain and you are on the other side. If I look up at the mountain it is overwhelming, but when I look at my feet I feel the ground and I walk. There is a long trail before me with moments keeping me from continuing and moments where I find your bridge and I cross.

I know that I have a rough road ahead of me, and most of you have no idea what to say or how to even absorb this information. THAT IS OK! This is difficult for everyone. Right now I need everyone to be as "normal" as possible with me and if you want to say something to me right now the best words are that you love me, you support me and you are here for me.

As you read this, instead of posting an "I am so sorry" message, tell me something funny. Share a memory of something we have done together that is funny, or tell me a stupid joke (love them) or go ahead and finally tell me how you have secretly been infatuated with me (I know there are a few of you). Above all else right now I have to laugh, fortunately I am freaking hilarious (in my own head) so I am going to be alright.

Comments

Wren said…
Hi Rosie,

Babe is helping me get started in your Blog. We hope it works.

Love, Patsy&Babe

Popular posts from this blog

Ringing in the New year

Hewwo everybody :) Well I had my "snap back moment" on my birthday. I was star gazing on my day of birth, taking a little solo time and I started to think, what do I have to be thankful for. And it came to me. I am alive. In that exact moment everything from the past year came full circle. I immediately became excited about all the possibilities I have before me, in 2009 and beyond. I also gave myself a little pat on the back for making through the past year, without losing the things I hold dear. I am excited to continue to shake off the trauma from the last year and fall into my full stride. I had a great time in the OBX and found that I was able to really be myself, laughing, joking, sprinkling in a little deep thoughts and just gettin down. I hope you all had a great new year and I wish you all the best. xoxo - Rosie

Normal

I am feeling more normal these days. I am able to drive most days and spend some time with my friends. I almost have a normal schedule ( yay ). I have also been lucky that I have not gotten sick sick (definition: sick sick - sickness that is not chemo induced) in a long time. For the past two years I have gotten sick on average every 5 weeks, so this has been my longest stretch without a cold, strep, bronchitis, or the flu. I think it may help that I don't go where lots of people are often. Plus I have become and obsessive hand washer, I carry like 3 types of lotion because my hands are so dry from the soap! I went out with friends last Saturday - it was the first time I have hung out with more than 8-10 people in many many months. I found myself with a bit of social anxiety. This is a new experience for me. I imagine this is caused by the massive amount of alone time I have had the past few months and my insecurity about being a bald cancer patient. I know this too is t...

I made a choice.

So I have spent the past few weeks thinking.   Trying to nail down what is most important.  Trying to give myself some perspective.   So I have outlined my worst case scenarios.  Worst case scenario #1:  I don't have the surgery now and end up with cancer in the next few years.   Worst case scenario #2: I have the surgery now and a few years from now I am unhappy and upset that I never had my own biological children.   Worst case scenario #3: I have horrible menopausal symptoms for the next few years.   So. When I write them out.  I see something pretty clear.  #2 and #3 are temporary and there are options for me to work through.   #1 could equal death.  Which is pretty permanent.   So. I'm gonna do it.  That's how I feel right now.  I'm going to chose short term suffering to have a better long term life.   I am trying to read up on things I can do to mitigate menopause that ...