Well Well Well - here we are in Dec. My official day back to work is this Wed, I was planning on today being my first day but ran into some issues with doctors notes - so Wed is the day. I am excited to be going back to work, and continuing to morph back into a normal life schedule. I had a really good thanksgiving week/weekend and all is well - except for my brand new computer (3 months old) totally taking a nose dive on Sat. Hopefully my dad can walk me through how to fix it without having to wipe the entire hard drive. But alas, this is part of owning technology. I am still flying pretty high and feel lots of love for lots of people. I guess it turns out that I am a LOVER not a HATER. Hmmm did not see that one coming. I guess the only thing I have to get out is that I have been cheating on my blog. Yes, I am a cheater. I have spent the past month writing via pen and paper AND in my head. I feel bad because over the past year, blog, you and I have been pretty close and it just seems that I don't really have time for you anymore. I have been tossing and turning at night, trying to find the right words. So here it is - Blog I just need a little space, it's not you - it's me. I mean I don't want you out of my life completely, I just need time to figure somethings out. I hope we can still be friends. Well that is all for now, hopefully next time I write you, my heart will be in it more. xoxo |
I surprised myself recently. I thought for sure that the days after my last Chemo would be great. I mean, I completed six months of chemo, which is something to celebrate. However, I found myself doing quite the opposite. The past few days have been some of the toughest in a while. I thought about this in my car today. I realized that I can only handle so much of all this at a given time. I think finishing chemo actually turned out to be a breaking point for me. I have found myself teary eyed and easily irritated for days. I haven't liked talking on the phone, even with some of my favorite people. Lots of little things have been getting to me. These are all signs that I am mentally going downhill. I have found, in the past that I can go on this trail for quite a while before I realize it is happening. I am glad that I figured this out after 4 days. I guess I am just a little fed up with the whole thing. I am tired of dealing with Cancer. I am tired of looking differen...
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