Row-C

I went through an eleven hour surgery on Thursday and was in the hospital until Sunday. I've been home for a few days and am feeling better everyday. Everything's still difficult but it will be better soon. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts. In case you're wondering, I'm not typing this, so if it sounds short and choppy, it's because I'm dictating this to a friend. Peace out. :)

Well well well, where has the time gone? I have been busy the past month working, cleaning, and spending time with friends. I have been operating on a semi-normal schedule and have not had to many difficult emotion days. Well at least I don't remember them, Chemo brain is not fun when you are trying to remember important things, but is great when you can't remember the bad days. I still can't sleep like a normal person, which is frustrating, but honestly it is nice to have some consistency in my life. So for those of you who love drama, good news, I am losing it a bit. (Bet you were getting a little bored with the last few blogs, come on, I know you were) The impact of surgery is hitting me. One week, 7 days. I have seven days to wrap up all my work duties, take care of house stuff and prepare to have a 10 hour surgery. Talk about intense pressure. I started crying when watching some of the heartfelt Olympics’ commercials. Heck I cried when I saw the color blue the...

I have been enjoying watching the Olympics as I am sure many of you have. I have two things that have been bothering me. 1. The commentary provided by NBC - is there any reason to hear chatter the entire time you are watching the opening ceremony. Answer: NO 2. Is it really necessary for NBC to have commericals during the olympics? Just once I would like to watch a major world wide event and not miss important portions just so I can see the new Walmart or Coke Commercial. Oh - And it is safe to say that I am feeling pretty good, as I have time to be irritated by the NBC network. ;)

So I guess a few of you stalkers out there may be wondering how I am doing. It has been a while since I have written. I have spent the past few weeks trying to be normal. Well I guess we all know that "normal" is a stretch for me. ;) On the real, there have been ups and downs, but at least no chemo. I am a little surprised that I still have a lot of the side affects I had while on chemo, sleep issues, fatigue, trouble using my brain etc. I was hoping that would go away after chemo, I guess I just have to be patient. At this point I am excited about surgery. It is the final piece of treatment. Once I have surgery I don't have any more "have to do's ". I just need to heal. I don't have to wait every week or few weeks to hear an update from a doctor. I have been trying to push myself lately to be a "doer". Simple things, do the dishes right away, wash and put away clothes at one time (not end up with a pile of clean clothes in my room ...

Things are going along pretty well. I just can't seem to kick the whole fatigue thing. That is pretty frustrating, but apparently 6 months of being pumped, literally pumped, full of chemicals has left my body and mind pretty tired. I did get to see my Grandma, cousins, aunt and uncle this weekend, and that was pretty sweet. And oh did I have a tasty tender steak on Saturday. I also was able to visit my two of my bestest friends, and learned that I am getting a little better in social situations. I realized in the past two weeks, that 75% of the conversations I have involve cancer, and I feel kind of weird if a conversation does not mention cancer. Cancer is part of my daily life and becomes more comfortable and natural than other topics, so that is kind of weird. I have my surgery date scheduled, it will be on Aug 21st, it is kind of surreal to have the end of this in my sights. Reassuring, but surreal. I have had trouble sleeping because I have so many things in my head, mo...

Good news.....No radiation needed for me!!!! Whew, what a relief. I really really really did not want to do all that Radiation involved, as it would of extended my cancer completion time by four months. So I am a very happy camper today. :) Rosie

I surprised myself recently. I thought for sure that the days after my last Chemo would be great. I mean, I completed six months of chemo, which is something to celebrate. However, I found myself doing quite the opposite. The past few days have been some of the toughest in a while. I thought about this in my car today. I realized that I can only handle so much of all this at a given time. I think finishing chemo actually turned out to be a breaking point for me. I have found myself teary eyed and easily irritated for days. I haven't liked talking on the phone, even with some of my favorite people. Lots of little things have been getting to me. These are all signs that I am mentally going downhill. I have found, in the past that I can go on this trail for quite a while before I realize it is happening. I am glad that I figured this out after 4 days. I guess I am just a little fed up with the whole thing. I am tired of dealing with Cancer. I am tired of looking differen...