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August not July

Things are going along pretty well. I just can't seem to kick the whole fatigue thing. That is pretty frustrating, but apparently 6 months of being pumped, literally pumped, full of chemicals has left my body and mind pretty tired.

I did get to see my Grandma, cousins, aunt and uncle this weekend, and that was pretty sweet. And oh did I have a tasty tender steak on Saturday.

I also was able to visit my two of my bestest friends, and learned that I am getting a little better in social situations. I realized in the past two weeks, that 75% of the conversations I have involve cancer, and I feel kind of weird if a conversation does not mention cancer. Cancer is part of my daily life and becomes more comfortable and natural than other topics, so that is kind of weird.

I have my surgery date scheduled, it will be on Aug 21st, it is kind of surreal to have the end of this in my sights. Reassuring, but surreal. I have had trouble sleeping because I have so many things in my head, mostly about the last part of this trip. I guess I am afraid that I won't know how to be "normal" again. I won't know how to transition from cancer patient to cancer survivor. I am also afraid that I am not tough enough to get through the recovery of the surgery. But those are both things I don't have too much control over now.

I hope you all had a safe and relaxing 4th of July. Oh and the y is stuck on my keyboard, shocking how often you use that key (I counted 22 times).

Later - Rosie

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