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Not cancer but still tough choice

 I haven't written here in a long time.  Not regularly  
since cancer days when I was trying to cope and process everything. 

I have found myself in a situation I am having trouble fully wrapping my head around.  I don't have cancer again (insert wood knocking)  but I am making a difficult choice.  This choice will significantly lower my future cancer risks.  But at the cost of biological children.  

Here are the facts. I'm 37.  Statistically if I have my ovaries taken out (oophorectomy) prior to 40 then I will have an 80% reduction in my risk of ovarian cancer.  Ovarian cancer is nasty and often fatal because it is so hard to detect.  I have BRCA1 gene and I am a Breast cancer survivor.  

Based on my history it is beneficial to also do a total hysterectomy at the same time.  My lady parts history makes me a bad candidate for laparoscopic so I have to do old school abdominal surgery with 6 week recovery.  

After surgery my body will be thrown into menopause.  Like pretty aggressively.  And I am really afraid of how I will cope with that.  

As of right now I am scheduled for surgery in October and going to focus the next 30 days on making sure that is the right choice.  

This is bringing up emotions I have not felt since 2008 when I had my last big surgery.  And I was not anticipating that.  So I will do what I did back then and write about it here.  

Let's see if we can get this sorted.  

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